Orgasm FAQs Part One: Why Can’t I Have an Orgasm?

1) Women’s sexual response is varied and complex. Don’t compare yourself to your husband. The typical male sexual response is predictable: one orgasm during intercourse. Only 25% of women follow the male model of a single orgasm during intercourse. In any given month, it’s normal for women to experience all of these: nonorgasmic, singly orgasmic, and/or multiorgasmic. If she has an orgasm, it’s normal for her orgasms to occur anytime during sex: foreplay, manual or oral stimulation, intercourse, or afterplay.

2) Most women do not have an orgasm at each sexual opportunity.

3) Many women find it easier and more satisfying to be orgasmic with non-intercourse sexual activity, such as manual or oral stimulation, or with multiple stimulation during intercourse. You are not “less of a woman” or “missing out” if you don’t orgasm during intercourse. One in three women never experiences orgasm during intercourse.

4) Common causes of orgasmic difficulties include performance anxiety, anger, and feeling emotionally distant or alienated from your husband. Emotional inhibitions or conflicted feelings surrounding sexuality can also cause orgasmic difficulties. If your husband raises his voice at you, makes you feel inferior, or insinuates that you don’t measure up (these are examples of verbal abuse), you most likely will not trust him, and this will interfere with your ability to orgasm. You can download a free document about verbal abuse on the Resources page of my website

The next blog  will cover tips on achieving orgasm.

What do you think is an obstacle to your orgasmic response?




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