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This Month's Dare
Are you ready to create a sex life you love? Our January 2018 Dare builds on Dr. Jennifer’s newly released Creating a Life You Love DVD/audio CD series. The second and third sessions of CALYL focus on identifying and eliminating your energy drainers and adding energy boosters in 8 key areas of life. This month’s Dare challenges you and your husband to take those ideas and apply them to your 2018 sex life, plus you could win a fun prize to make your sex life sizzle!
The number one reason Christian wives give for lack of sexual interest is … can you guess? … “I’m too tired for sex.” Lack of energy dramatically decreases a woman’s sexual desire, so identifying and eliminating sexual energy drainers is key.
Men have ten times more testosterone than women do, so finding sexual energy is usually not a problem for husbands. However, wives (and husbands) can benefit from adding positive energy sources to their sex life so that physical intimacy feels like a treat instead of a chore.
Supplies: Paper, pen, your creative mind, determination, and teamwork
1) Set up an “at-home date” with your husband, where you can discuss making your 2018 sex life spectacular. Bring pen and paper for both of you and two copies of the lists provided below.
2) Start by listing things that drain off your sexual energy or lessen your interest in sex. You can print out our list below to help you identify energy drainers.
What’s Draining Your Sexual Energy?
- I’m worried someone (like the kids) will hear us having sex.
- We wait until bedtime to have sex, and then I’m too sleepy.
- I don’t like how my naked body looks.
- Sometimes my spouse forgets to brush his/her teeth or shave before getting romantic.
- Our bedroom door doesn’t lock, and someone could walk in on us.
- Click here for Dr. Jennifer’s full list of sexual energy drainers.
3) Next, list things that increase your sexual energy or fuel your interest in sex. You can print out our list below to help you identify positive energy sources.
What’s Fueling Your Sexual Energy?
- I can tell my spouse finds me attractive.
- I am physically attracted to my spouse.
- I like my body overall.
- I am comfortable with my spouse seeing me naked.
- We try new things in the bedroom occasionally, as long as we are both okay with it.
- Click here for Dr. Jennifer’s full list of positive sexual energy sources.
4) Share your lists with your spouse. Be gentle, honest, and kind.
5) Using your What’s Draining Your Sexual Energy list, make a personal “Top Three Sexual Energy Drainers to Target” list based on the three energy drainers you most want to handle in 2018 to improve your sex life. Be sure to pick items you are genuinely interested in handling–not what your spouse thinks you “should” handle first. Then brainstorm with your spouse on what you could do to tackle each item.
For example, if you want to target “Sex sometimes feels routine or predictable,” you might commit to doing our monthly Dares at least 6 times in 2018. Or if you want to target “We are distracted by TV/phones/computers while having sex,” you could commit to a “TV/computer off and phone set to airplane mode” guideline once romance is underway. You’ll stick to your plan better if you make it specific and measurable.
6) Using your What’s Fueling Your Sexual Energy list, choose one source of sexual energy to add in 2018. For example, if you aren’t regularly exercising, you could commit to taking a brisk walk twice a week to help fuel yourself sexually. This will be your “Top Sexual Energy Source to Add.”
7) Here’s the part where you could win a prize! Write down both your “Top Three Sexual Energy Drainers to Target” lists and “Top Sexual Energy Source to Add.” Be creative, if you like, with your design. Then email us a clear photo of your lists. We will randomly choose a winner to receive a special prize! Plus, we will feature all the photos on our Facebook page (your identity will not be revealed). We’ll also put the winning photo in our February Dare newsletter, which is always our most opened newsletter (gee, I wonder why?!). You can send in your photos to firstname.lastname@example.org or reply to the Dare newsletter email.
8) Finally, hang your lists in your home where you and your spouse can see them for a daily reminder to make 2018 your best sex year ever! And then, have great sex to start 2018 off with a bang (so to speak)!
And to add to your list making fun, we created a “Creating a Sex Life You Love Playlist” on Spotify that you two can listen to while completing the Dare. Click here to listen or go to our HealthyRelationshipsRx channel on Spotify.
Dare of the Month Spotify Playlist
We’ve created a Spotify page hosting a variety of playlists for you to enjoy with your husband, your kids, your friends, or just by yourself. Click the link below to enjoy:
Deck of Dares